My friend has broken up- again- with her long term boyfriend. And this is horrible and against all rules of sisterhood and friendship and yada yada… But I’m rooting for him, I am on his side. She’s moaning because he’s moved into a share house in a nice suburb while she’s living with her parents, and instead of agreeing that, you know, how DARE he have the NERVE to MOVE OUT, I’m thinking GOOD FOR YOU. Even if you’re miserable living with grotty strangers, even if you’re crying yourself to sleep missing the bitch, YOU ARE GETTING TO HER, SHE THINKS YOU ARE MOVING ON.
What does this say about me? Why do I even care? I’m not in the least bit attracted to the ex-boyfriend, though I adore him, and if I’m sad about the break-up it’s because I won’t get to see him again. He is the sort of boy I’d like to date, just one time- sensitive, intelligent, generous, loyal- not particularly funny, or “blokey”, but someone to share the reading of a novel with, or classical music, long bike rides in the rain. Things that would probably make me puke if they happened in real life. It’s a bit of a stretch from making and eating “bacon explosion” (my last relationship) to taking turns reading aloud to each other, and while I thoroughly enjoy both I am yet to find a man who indulges these interests in equal measure. How would I identify such a person, what would they even LOOK like? Half man, half wimp? Boardshorts and Haivianas paired with what? A CocoRosie shirt, a beard, a manicure, a man-bag?
They always seemed the mis-matched couple. She’s a “party girl”, who listens to nothing but Top 40, very obviously and loudly refuses all food when people are looking, watches nothing but Sex & the City and reads only chick-lit. He is THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE IN EVERY WAY and if I describe in detail, it will sound like I’m gushing (I would be gushing, BTW).
She regularly cheated on him, but if she saw he’d received an email from an ex-girlfriend (she read his emails, he didn’t know) then she would call an “emergency girls night” so we could listen to her go on about how he didn’t deserve her, how she could do so much better, how he was pathetic and useless, and how he was just “too in love with her” (or “not in love enough”- it varied). None of us agreed, at first out of the usual fear they’d get back together and it would be awkward thereafter, and then later on because we disagreed with her, but silently, between ourselves.
I have a few different groups of girlfriends, and some of us planned on getting together last Friday night- said friend wanted to get “loose” and assumed we’d join in. Things didn’t go her way and she chucked a hissy. Maybe because the rest of us work and pay rent and have responsibilities, or maybe because everyone is just sick and tired of having to listen to her talk about her eating disorder. In any case, when she told me that she was disappointed in how the night went because “we didn’t really get to chat”, I knew that meant “we didn’t talk about ME enough”. General consensus (bitchy emails) agreed with me.
We made plans to have dinner tonight at my house and I told her it couldn’t be anything special- i.e., I wouldn’t be involving a “meal plan”- because I’ve got Christmas things to do, because I’m at work all day today and tomorrow, and then tomorrow I have to schlep around Sydney getting food and whatnot, before driving my grandparents to the Central Coast. So no, thanks for the suggestions on what I COULD cook, but when I have to pay for produce that you won’t even eat, well you can think again.
So then she tells me that she’s asked our other 2 friends over and that she hopes I don’t mind. “We can just get takeaway if cooking is too hard for you”. Thanks, that’s really generous of you.
Maybe I’m just jelly because she’s been single for all of 3 weeks, yet is already hotel-hopping and “getting loose” and “being hit on” left right and centre. Or maybe I just wanna talk about MY issues (hehehe). Maybe it’s just the end of the year and I’m stressing out because I hate my job and don’t want to go to uni but then if I didn’t do that the only alternative would be to kill myself because I don’t have anything else in my life. Maybe I’m just a Mean Girl. Maybe I just need to get laid. Whaddya reckon?
