What does this say about me? Why do I even care? I’m not in the least bit attracted to the ex-boyfriend, though I adore him, and if I’m sad about the break-up it’s because I won’t get to see him again. He is the sort of boy I’d like to date, just one time- sensitive, intelligent, generous, loyal- not particularly funny, or “blokey”, but someone to share the reading of a novel with, or classical music, long bike rides in the rain. Things that would probably make me puke if they happened in real life. It’s a bit of a stretch from making and eating “bacon explosion” (my last relationship) to taking turns reading aloud to each other, and while I thoroughly enjoy both I am yet to find a man who indulges these interests in equal measure. How would I identify such a person, what would they even LOOK like? Half man, half wimp? Boardshorts and Haivianas paired with what? A CocoRosie shirt, a beard, a manicure, a man-bag?

They always seemed the mis-matched couple. She’s a “party girl”, who listens to nothing but Top 40, very obviously and loudly refuses all food when people are looking, watches nothing but Sex & the City and reads only chick-lit. He is THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE IN EVERY WAY and if I describe in detail, it will sound like I’m gushing (I would be gushing, BTW).
She regularly cheated on him, but if she saw he’d received an email from an ex-girlfriend (she read his emails, he didn’t know) then she would call an “emergency girls night” so we could listen to her go on about how he didn’t deserve her, how she could do so much better, how he was pathetic and useless, and how he was just “too in love with her” (or “not in love enough”- it varied). None of us agreed, at first out of the usual fear they’d get back together and it would be awkward thereafter, and then later on because we disagreed with her, but silently, between ourselves.

I have a few different groups of girlfriends, and some of us planned on getting together last Friday night- said friend wanted to get “loose” and assumed we’d join in. Things didn’t go her way and she chucked a hissy. Maybe because the rest of us work and pay rent and have responsibilities, or maybe because everyone is just sick and tired of having to listen to her talk about her eating disorder. In any case, when she told me that she was disappointed in how the night went because “we didn’t really get to chat”, I knew that meant “we didn’t talk about ME enough”. General consensus (bitchy emails) agreed with me.

We made plans to have dinner tonight at my house and I told her it couldn’t be anything special- i.e., I wouldn’t be involving a “meal plan”- because I’ve got Christmas things to do, because I’m at work all day today and tomorrow, and then tomorrow I have to schlep around Sydney getting food and whatnot, before driving my grandparents to the Central Coast. So no, thanks for the suggestions on what I COULD cook, but when I have to pay for produce that you won’t even eat, well you can think again.
So then she tells me that she’s asked our other 2 friends over and that she hopes I don’t mind. “We can just get takeaway if cooking is too hard for you”. Thanks, that’s really generous of you.

Maybe I’m just jelly because she’s been single for all of 3 weeks, yet is already hotel-hopping and “getting loose” and “being hit on” left right and centre. Or maybe I just wanna talk about MY issues (hehehe). Maybe it’s just the end of the year and I’m stressing out because I hate my job and don’t want to go to uni but then if I didn’t do that the only alternative would be to kill myself because I don’t have anything else in my life. Maybe I’m just a Mean Girl. Maybe I just need to get laid. Whaddya reckon?

Oh, oh, telephone line
Give me some time
I’m living in twilight

Whenever I get an email, oh please sponsor me to shave my balls for cancer, I donate. I donated to the bushfire appeal, I donate to the Red Shield Appeal, I buy the Big Issue. I’m not so big on wildlife conservation or things abroad though. But I’ll be honest- most of the time I do it because I feel sorry for the little old people who stand there smiling at everyone who rushes past. This morning I stopped and chatted to this cute little old couple who were collecting food for the local winter food drive. I went through my cupboards and then across the road to the supermarket, getting canned soups and the like. One- I felt bad NOT doing anything after having stopped to read their sign and say hello and Two- my heart ached to see them standing side by side, smiling and being largely ignored by everyone who walked past. Why I did it had very little/nothing to do with helping “those less fortunate”, I just couldn’t bear to go back home and think of them standing there, expecting nothing. Maybe my intentions aren’t as good hearted as yours but so what! Yes, it DOES make me feel better about myself, yes I DO feel nice and warm inside after I do it. Do you think the people who are on the receiving end give a shit what your intentions were?

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This is peach flavoured pig placenta juice. Tres vom! Before they made it peach flavoured it apparently tasted a little bit like sow. I guess that’s kind of like when something “tastes how it smells”.

This was from family Christmas 2007. We had to cut him in half because he wouldn’t fit on the spit. He was 10 days old and had this Easter Show aftertaste. I’ll say it though, he was deeeeelicious.

This little fella was Christmas 2008. My grandma kept making him “dance” and “talk”.

I’m a bit obsessed with these. I just want some sweet kicks I can slip into if I’m buying milk or going to the petrol station. They look so comfortable. I’d even wear them to bed.